My unlikely friends

This is the first time I have posted using my phone. Forgive me for the mistakes I’m sure I will make! 😄

This year I am so thankful for my many friends. These last few years it seems, I have added some very important people to my list. I have a bestie that’s 80 yrs old, 2 “most unlikely” young men, and I still have the many friends I’ve had throughout the years. Below happened yesterday that made me really think!

I had a wonderful conversation with my “most unlikely” friend. He said some things that have never been said to me. The things that he shared with me didn’t happen overnight but it was a result of being invested in his life over a couple of years. I share this because I want you to know -it is SO worth learning and loving people who may be different than my other “likely” friends. These are not exact quotes but are remembered as closely as I can.

•You helped me to open up and to share my feelings and opinions.
•You say to me, I’d love to hear more about that. Or what was it like? You gave me a voice to say how I feel and not how you want me to feel.
•You make an effort to involve me in your conversation and not just talk to me but to listen.
•I have learned how to communicate better with others.

What I HAVE LEARNED in 2 “most unlikely friendships” with 2 young men is:

•Being willing to try and ride the waves as they come.
•Making sure they feel validated and knowing it’s ok to be who they are. Not trying to fix them, but to support them in becoming all they can be.
•And most importantly is to educate myself about the differences we each have.

Narcissist are very dangerous!

Just to add to what I have copied, when you ask the Narcissist to have a meeting with all parties involved – they will not do it! They DO NOT want to be confronted about their lies. Some studies say that N’s cannot change that it is a brain problem. The N that is in our life, I believe does what she does to purposely hurt. It has to be all about her.
PLEASE BE AWARE! THEY ARE DANGEROUS!

“Beware of people who “Drive Under the Influence of a Narcissist” (DUIN). They are as dangerous as the Narcissist. They are drunk on lies and not safe for close association. ” This sounds exactly what we are dealing with!

“Almost by definition, narcissists don’t care. We wonder if they have the ability to care about others. Yet, they cannot move forward in the relationships they need without convincing people that they do care. So narcissists learn to do what it takes.

I believe that narcissists are some of the most practical people we will ever meet. Because they are actually quite free of emotional ties, they are able to look at situations without the same complications we experience. That ability gives them freedom to make quick and strong decisions and to make difficult decisions.

Who can look on the employees of a small business and choose which has to be let go because of the budget cuts? The narcissist can, and without consideration of the employee’s needs or tenure. The decision will be practical and ruthless. But it can’t look that way or the other employees might cause problems. The thinking narcissist will feign a struggle, let everyone know how difficult the choice was, and even shed a tear or two. Of course, if you watch carefully, the narcissist will look bigger and better because of the phony struggle. None of it will be about the employee.  

Emotions are useful to the narcissist. She/He knows that the way into the heart of another person is through connected emotions.She/He will be upset about some injustice with those who are feeling abused. She will be attentive and loving with those who need a friend. I have found narcissists to be some of the best listeners in my life, accepting and instantly grasping my own feelings. But all of this is an act. The same narcissists who have been so gracious in times of need will produce much greater struggles for their victims in the future.

Understand that emotions are risky for the narcissist. If she/he cannot control his/her feelings, she/he may reveal the weakness he knows himself to have. She/He will betray the image if they are not careful. So the narcissist learns early not to cry, not to express too much enthusiasm, not to hope. They cannot look weak. They must be in control. Even the covert narcissist, who seems much more willing to express vulnerability, will share only those emotions that will be useful in relationships. They might cry, a lot, and they might show fear or anxiety or disappointment; but all of that will be for the purpose of manipulating those around them.”

His Sweet Innocence!

He cut his own bangs and has fresh stitches on his forehead. That’s our Krys!

Our children are grown but as I think over the years I loved the innocence of their youth!  Krystopher was our absolutely adorable, totally white haired, blued eyed, sun tanned little boy!  Full of energy and fun!  He melted this Momma’s heart!  AND everyone that he came in contact with.

As Christians – We Need Each Other!

As we entered the funeral of a young mother, many were sharing acknowledgments of her life & how they were affected by the investment she made in the lives of people.  She loved HER God.  She glorified HER God. She desired after the things of HER God.  She loved HER family.  She cherished HER church & friends.  How would we know this had she not opened up her life & shared her deep hunger for the things of the Lord?