Making Time for Others

copied from Simple Reminders

The older I get the more I realize that I am just not comfortable in groups of people. It is just much simpler for me to stay home than to go to a social gathering. There are times I want to catch up with old friends and enjoy a cup of coffee and a dessert but I find it a daunting tasks to do so.  Most of the time I force myself to put it on my calendar because socializing is out of my comfort zone. Long after the event is over it isn’t important what I wore or how awkward I felt but that I made room for someone or something I enjoy.

I need to learn how to make time for people who need me by making time in my heart and in my home. Time is something we all have and yet everyone has a need for our time. For me to sit selfishly in my home because that is where I am comfortable, is not allowing the Holy Spirit to use me where I am needed.

I am reminded of this verse and He promises me that His presence is with me whether I am comfortable or not. John 14: 16 And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; 17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.

Being sociable is almost always an inconvenience. Being with those who need us is not about my own comfort but it’s about making others feel safe and happy with where they are. Jesus made time for everyone, for all types of people—friends; whether rich or poor, people who betrayed Him, strangers and foreigners, the little ones, and so many more. Making time for others was a character of His ministry.

Jesus didn’t die on the cross for me to be comfortable but for me to be conformed to His image. Me being conformed to His image is me taking time to give to others…comfortable or not.

Why the empty gestures?

Christ calls us to become His image- to reach out to a hurting world and bring His Spirit to that world.  We’ve had too many years of talking – it’s time to get  busy. Let’s pray for His leadership and direction so we can go out and live His love. The world needs you. The world needs HIM!

Mark 12:29-31 29 And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: 30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
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We as Christians are to reflect the heart of Christ, to love the way He loves.  If we do not love with the love of Christ then all we do is a hypocritical devotion, flowery language and our church attendance and such are just empty gestures. God did not want us to attend church on Sunday and turn our back to the pain in this world the rest of the time. He wants us to seek justice for the mentally ill, to protect the defenseless, to set captives free, to live a life of compassion and unselfishness.

Too often we stress on saying and believing the right things, that we turn a blind eye to our piousness and conceit. We have a lack of compassion for the hurting. We have become legalistic and satisfied with our devotion and our good works that we develop an attitude of superiority towards those we deem to be less righteous than ourselves.

Matt. 15:8 This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.

Is it any wonder too many of the world run from us?

We take pride in doing and saying all the right things, but we are absolutely lacking any joy, peace, gentleness, or any love. In the first century, people would exclaim, We tend to forget our real spiritual goal should be to live closer to God and have him form in us the character of the heart Christ. We, as Christians should die daily to our self and learn to love the way Christ loved. If we are truly filled with His Spirit it should be evident in our lives.

Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Jesus told his disciples a very clear plan that others would recognize them. He didn’t say it was all this legalistic stuff, it is not your church attendance, how you tote your Bible BUT it is how you love!

John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

We are so full of dramatization even in our church services and our lives. We want God to be awe stricken with our fancy worship and slick tongued sermons. Why do we spend so much time talking about what we allegedly believe yet so little time living it. Why are we satisfied with following rituals yet neglecting our heart.

Why are we so content with our empty gestures?

Narcissist are very dangerous!

Just to add to what I have copied, when you ask the Narcissist to have a meeting with all parties involved – they will not do it! They DO NOT want to be confronted about their lies. Some studies say that N’s cannot change that it is a brain problem. The N that is in our life, I believe does what she does to purposely hurt. It has to be all about her.
PLEASE BE AWARE! THEY ARE DANGEROUS!

“Beware of people who “Drive Under the Influence of a Narcissist” (DUIN). They are as dangerous as the Narcissist. They are drunk on lies and not safe for close association. ” This sounds exactly what we are dealing with!

“Almost by definition, narcissists don’t care. We wonder if they have the ability to care about others. Yet, they cannot move forward in the relationships they need without convincing people that they do care. So narcissists learn to do what it takes.

I believe that narcissists are some of the most practical people we will ever meet. Because they are actually quite free of emotional ties, they are able to look at situations without the same complications we experience. That ability gives them freedom to make quick and strong decisions and to make difficult decisions.

Who can look on the employees of a small business and choose which has to be let go because of the budget cuts? The narcissist can, and without consideration of the employee’s needs or tenure. The decision will be practical and ruthless. But it can’t look that way or the other employees might cause problems. The thinking narcissist will feign a struggle, let everyone know how difficult the choice was, and even shed a tear or two. Of course, if you watch carefully, the narcissist will look bigger and better because of the phony struggle. None of it will be about the employee.  

Emotions are useful to the narcissist. She/He knows that the way into the heart of another person is through connected emotions.She/He will be upset about some injustice with those who are feeling abused. She will be attentive and loving with those who need a friend. I have found narcissists to be some of the best listeners in my life, accepting and instantly grasping my own feelings. But all of this is an act. The same narcissists who have been so gracious in times of need will produce much greater struggles for their victims in the future.

Understand that emotions are risky for the narcissist. If she/he cannot control his/her feelings, she/he may reveal the weakness he knows himself to have. She/He will betray the image if they are not careful. So the narcissist learns early not to cry, not to express too much enthusiasm, not to hope. They cannot look weak. They must be in control. Even the covert narcissist, who seems much more willing to express vulnerability, will share only those emotions that will be useful in relationships. They might cry, a lot, and they might show fear or anxiety or disappointment; but all of that will be for the purpose of manipulating those around them.”

When Life Happens

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Ever thought ‘If I could just get a break!” So many times we think it is the ‘Big Break’ that will ‘Open the Door’ to success in life. Or maybe because we came from ‘The wrong side of the Tracks’ is what we blame for holding us back. Maybe blame the family you were born in or ‘I’m the black Sheep’ philosophy. ‘If only’… things had been different in my life…

Duggar/Jenner – Seriously?

Josh Duggar’s 2nd news event -pornography & affair is called the “Scandal of the year.” Absolutely horrible but would not have been newsworthy for someone else. This is normal behavior for many men.  The media’s intention was not so much to attack Josh Duggar.  This was clearly done with intention to be an attack on Christianity.

Yet Caitlyn Jenner is “Person of the Year” & Glamour Mag. “Woman of the Year.” If Bruce wants to be Caitlyn, fine but giving an award for it is messed up! Plus, how can you be Woman of the Year, when you haven’t been a “woman” for a year?

As twisted as Bruce Jenner is and Josh Duggar has obviously sinned wrong –  this is nothing in comparison to what is about to be unleashed. The scripture is very clear.  Gal. 6: ⁷ Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. ⁸ For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

I worry about America.

Who is Your Example

I have been noticing more and more some disheartening actions among people who claim to follow Christ. We recite our Bible verses about turning the other cheek and not retaliating evil for evil and think we have it. When it comes to things that personally affect us or our family, we do away with the “turn the other cheek” and suddenly an “eye for an eye” becomes our theme.

There is a tendency in all of us to think having the “right” beliefs (religious, political, outlook, theory) or following a certain set of rules, gives us a free pass to act like a nitwit. Some will learn how to refrain and some will always force their jerk-face attitude on others.

Voting for certain candidates is not a justification for being offensive and saying derogatory things about political opponents. Obeying all the rules that we have set for our life does not give us a free pass to treat people harshly who do not agree with us. How we respond to people is how we respond to Jesus. “For I was an hungered and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.” Matt. 25:35-36

Our reality of, “I am right” is not an excuse to treat another person like garbage.

Regardless of what others may do to us, whether a minor offense like cutting us off in traffic or something major like, stabbing us in the back when we gave all we could to help them ―we do not treat them with love because their actions merit that we do ―We treat them with love because Christ told us to. And HE will reward us. Be assured God will not bless when purposeful actions are taken against His Children.

When we take into our hands to “get them back” then the scripture “Vengeance Is Mine….I will repay” may never come to fruition. God may say, ―You took care of it―  How much better do you think God could handle it than we ourselves? When God judges or chastises it is much more effective.

If accepting Christ does not transform our heart, our behavior, and our actions then it is time for self-examination. This life-changing effect should be evident most in how we react to those who disagree with us, are not of the same social or political status, or those who just blatantly wronged us. I cannot emphasize this enough.

Our flesh tells us to treat them the way they deserve by their actions but we are to treat people the way Christ treated us.

Jesus, who was innocent and perfect in every way, gave His life in place of all humanity that was guilty. When confronted with his executioners, He cried out “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” After all of horrendous actions that had been done to Him, He had every right to choose retaliation…

Our salvation is not based on our behavior or our obedience of all the rules. But our salvation should change our heart thus changing our behavior. We are saved because we trusted Christ and nothing we can do on our own will get us to Heaven. Simply trusting Him.

We can follow all the rules, attend church every time the doors are open, write books about salvation, or have all the colleges give us Honoree Doctorate degrees but if we treat others like jerks

Jesus said, “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;” Matt. 5:4

I Am Trying To Love Myself

   

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”  –Thich Nhat Hanh

My Self Description:

• I  am a nurturer.
• I am uncomfortable accepting praise and will usually deflect it to praise someone else.
• It is hard for me to say no and will usually do whatever it takes to make things happen for other people when asked.
• I am over-apologetic even when it is not necessary or not my fault.

When I say that I need to love myself, I’m not implying to be the prideful, worldly type of loving oneself, I’m talking about an idea of being grateful and appreciating the person who God made. The worldly type of loving myself is where I am not prideful and arrogant. Since I am and have been surrounded with and was brought up in a family of a long list of narcissists who always blames others for their actions, I was overcompensating by going the opposite direction. The type of loving myself I am talking about is based upon humility and thankfulness. The two could not be more different!

Here are some things I am working on and am learning.  Do you see yourself in this?

• The amount of bondage from not loving myself was affecting me both emotionally and physically.
• Low self esteem is not being happy with the person that God made in you.
• I was considering myself as a homely and voiceless person even though others told me differently.
• I could not let myself forgive for the things I had done in the past that were embarrassing or even for my social awkwardness.
• I am always defeated regardless of how hard I try. I continue to push to reach impossible ambitions just to feel like I am worthy of being here.

I have purposed in my heart that I am going to begin to love the person that God created. God created my body, my mind, my emotions, intellect. What I put into my mind and heart is what people will see. God did not intend for me to see myself as I was viewing myself. In Genesis 1:26 It says, “Let us make man in our image….” God’s image is beautiful and that is how He wants me to view myself.

I will continue to work on this…..And believe that God knew exactly what He was doing when HE created me!

“Self esteem is just a belief. It takes as much effort to believe you have low self esteem as it does to believe you have high self esteem. All you need to do when experiencing low self esteem is to change your belief about yourself. Remember that no one can give or take away your self esteem.”

Image found on: decortoadore.net

You Are Worth Fixing

We’ve all known people that it is never their fault. Right?

They like to find someone to blame their problems on so they never have to take responsibility of them,
The anger and self-righteousness are a disturbing feeling of excitement to them because it means they are off the hook for their own issues.

It takes a mature person to accept and admit they have screwed up their own life up.

All by themselves. Their negative thinking, always fantasizing in their mind, then letting others know how it is someone else that has caused the problem. They never acknowledge that they may actually be the problem.

It is abuse to their family and all those who have to interact with this type of person.
They usually make people anxious about being around them, and they are never truly respected because of the displays of their weaknesses. The problem is that many times they get the help …too late… after the people that did love them,  chose to not associate with them anymore. Their family suffers so much undeserving abuse.

And the cycle continues……if you do not seek professional help.

~You deserve it ~Your family deserves it~

~The world needs the wonderful you!~

Take control of your life by blaming other less – Fix You
Your Negative thinking is making life hard for your family and you – Fix You
Try admitting your mistakes and decide to – Fix You

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Undiscriminating Love!

When reading the list I am thinking, OK, this must be a joke!  Right?  …And why did they just name Republicans and not Democrats? Usually easy for most of us to say because we know that is what we are suppose to say. Moderately easy to believe but so very difficult to actually practice…Without Him! We do not even have the ability to love to this degree on our own. We can not create it on our own.

Only His undiscriminating love that causes the sun to rise on the good and the evil is the only One that can produce this kind of love. All He has asked of us is to release our hearts to Him. We are still caught up in our eye for an eye thought that totally releasing our heart to the love that Jesus wants us to have for others is a so foreign to most.

He wants us to love like HE loves. Christ loved me first – end of story!  (I have a lot of work to do on this subject!)

Matt. 5:⁴³ Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.⁴⁴ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;⁴⁵ That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

God, Help!

Recently I have been in several situations that I called on God immediately and He was there.  There was not time for me to get on my knees in a prayer closet and go into a long dialogue prayer.  I needed to reach MY Heavenly Father by simply calling His name. It was a simple, “God, Help!”  Have you ever been in one of those situations?

As time would go on, I would pray over and over, “God, please we need a miracle!” This was not a miracle for me personally but for my immediate family. He always hears my cries and He always answers.

God would answer my prayer with exactly what I needed at that exact moment. I wanted a complete and immediate miracle but God said, I will sustain you through it all, ” My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness…” 2 Corinthians 12:9 That wasn’t what I  wanted to hear but that was the answer.

I knew the same God that turned the water into wine and parted the Red Sea was the same God I was calling upon. I had NO doubt that He was capable of performing a miracle. Had I not been in conversation with Him on a daily basis I wonder how much catching up I would have had to do before asking for a miracle?

Right in the middle of my deepest heartache, in the darkness of the pain my heart felt, God’s presence has always been steadfast and immovable. Through my struggles, He continually comforts me with His Word. When I cry out in my darkness, not knowing what the future may hold,  He will always be with me and our family regardless of what we may face.

“When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.”Isa. 43:2

I will always pray for complete healing.  I know that God will so tenderly hold us and comfort us while we face the trials together.  At the same time, in those special moments of tenderness He still continued to carry on and still be God to the rest of the world!

– Thank you Jesus for loving me so!

“The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us.”
― Billy Graham