I Am Trying To Love Myself

   

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”  –Thich Nhat Hanh

My Self Description:

• I  am a nurturer.
• I am uncomfortable accepting praise and will usually deflect it to praise someone else.
• It is hard for me to say no and will usually do whatever it takes to make things happen for other people when asked.
• I am over-apologetic even when it is not necessary or not my fault.

When I say that I need to love myself, I’m not implying to be the prideful, worldly type of loving oneself, I’m talking about an idea of being grateful and appreciating the person who God made. The worldly type of loving myself is where I am not prideful and arrogant. Since I am and have been surrounded with and was brought up in a family of a long list of narcissists who always blames others for their actions, I was overcompensating by going the opposite direction. The type of loving myself I am talking about is based upon humility and thankfulness. The two could not be more different!

Here are some things I am working on and am learning.  Do you see yourself in this?

• The amount of bondage from not loving myself was affecting me both emotionally and physically.
• Low self esteem is not being happy with the person that God made in you.
• I was considering myself as a homely and voiceless person even though others told me differently.
• I could not let myself forgive for the things I had done in the past that were embarrassing or even for my social awkwardness.
• I am always defeated regardless of how hard I try. I continue to push to reach impossible ambitions just to feel like I am worthy of being here.

I have purposed in my heart that I am going to begin to love the person that God created. God created my body, my mind, my emotions, intellect. What I put into my mind and heart is what people will see. God did not intend for me to see myself as I was viewing myself. In Genesis 1:26 It says, “Let us make man in our image….” God’s image is beautiful and that is how He wants me to view myself.

I will continue to work on this…..And believe that God knew exactly what He was doing when HE created me!

“Self esteem is just a belief. It takes as much effort to believe you have low self esteem as it does to believe you have high self esteem. All you need to do when experiencing low self esteem is to change your belief about yourself. Remember that no one can give or take away your self esteem.”

Image found on: decortoadore.net