Have you ever been in a position that you have been blamed of projecting a certain position on something and you know that was not what your intention was? The person that is accusing you has so twisted what you said and made it into what they wanted you to say. The one accusing denies their own behavior but accuses you or someone else of doing exactly what they are doing. Wow, does this get confusing!?
I believe they do see the bad behavior they are doing but they do not want to admit there can be any negative behavior in their-self so they have to attribute that image to someone else. The more they focus on other people the more the focus becomes on them. It doesn’t take long before everyone starts to see it.
It has taken me a while to learn that you can not change that person. That person must want to change. If they make accusations of others and they are always the victim then there will never be an opportunity for defense. If they make an accusation against you and they see you angry just one time, that is all they need to call you an angry person!
Their deception or denial of the attacks they have made are all normal in dealing with the attacks. The family usually ends up in a depressive state and begins to withdraw and hide from the abuse. It is best to walk away and pray they will get the help they need to change who they are. You can keep your head held high knowing that you tried your best to be a friend when others could not befriend them. You can not change them.
Often they will self diagnose medical problems to gain attention. This is part of the emotional disease. They know the right buttons to push for the intended response.
Please seek help for yourself in dealing with a person of this nature. It can be life changing and heart breaking at the same time. I did.
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God does reassemble shattered pieces 