Posts Tagged ‘Narcissist’

google search Just to add to what I have copied, when you ask the Narcissist to have a meeting with all parties involved – they will not do it! They DO NOT want to be confronted about their lies. Some studies say that N’s cannot change that it is a brain problem. The N that is in our life, I believe does what she does to purposely hurt. It has to be all about her.
PLEASE BE AWARE! THEY ARE DANGEROUS!

“Beware of people who “Drive Under the Influence of a Narcissist” (DUIN). They are as dangerous as the Narcissist. They are drunk on lies and not safe for close association. ” This sounds exactly what we are dealing with!

“Almost by definition, narcissists don’t care. We wonder if they have the ability to care about others. Yet, they cannot move forward in the relationships they need without convincing people that they do care. So narcissists learn to do what it takes.

I believe that narcissists are some of the most practical people we will ever meet. Because they are actually quite free of emotional ties, they are able to look at situations without the same complications we experience. That ability gives them freedom to make quick and strong decisions and to make difficult decisions.joy

Who can look on the employees of a small business and choose which has to be let go because of the budget cuts? The narcissist can, and without consideration of the employee’s needs or tenure. The decision will be practical and ruthless. But it can’t look that way or the other employees might cause problems. The thinking narcissist will feign a struggle, let everyone know how difficult the choice was, and even shed a tear or two. Of course, if you watch carefully, the narcissist will look bigger and better because of the phony struggle. None of it will be about the employee.  joy-2

Emotions are useful to the narcissist. She/He knows that the way into the heart of another person is through connected emotions.She/He will be upset about some injustice with those who are feeling abused. She will be attentive and loving with those who need a friend. I have found narcissists to be some of the best listeners in my life, accepting and instantly grasping my own feelings. But all of this is an act. The same narcissists who have been so gracious in times of need will produce much greater struggles for their victims in the future.

Understand that emotions are risky for the narcissist. If she/he cannot control his/her feelings, she/he may reveal the weakness he knows himself to have. She/He will betray the image if they are not careful. So the narcissist learns early not to cry, not to express too much enthusiasm, not to hope. They cannot look weak. They must be in control. Even the covert narcissist, who seems much more willing to express vulnerability, will share only those emotions that will be useful in relationships. They might cry, a lot, and they might show fear or anxiety or disappointment; but all of that will be for the purpose of manipulating those around them.”

    http://www.decortoadore.net/2012/10/day-28.html

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”  –Thich Nhat Hanh

My Self Description:

  • I  am a nurturer.
  • I am uncomfortable accepting praise and will usually deflect it to praise someone else.
  • It is hard for me to say no and will usually do whatever it takes to make things happen for other people when asked.
  • I am over-apologetic even when it is not necessary or not my fault.

When I say that I need to love myself, I’m not implying to be the prideful, worldly type of loving oneself, I’m talking about an idea of being grateful and appreciating the person who God made. The worldly type of loving myself is where I am not prideful and arrogant. Since I am and have been surrounded with and was brought up in a family of a long list of narcissists who always blames others for their actions, I was overcompensating by going the opposite direction. The type of loving myself I am talking about is based upon humility and thankfulness. The two could not be more different!

Here are some things I am working on and am learning.  Do you see yourself in this?

  • The amount of bondage from not loving myself was affecting me both emotionally and physically.
  • Low self esteem is not being happy with the person that God made in you.
  • I was considering myself as a homely and voiceless person even though others told me differently.
  • I could not let myself forgive for the things I had done in the past that were embarrassing or even for my social awkwardness.
  • I am always defeated regardless of how hard I try. I continue to push to reach impossible ambitions just to feel like I am worthy of being here.

I have purposed in my heart that I am going to begin to love the person that God created. God created my body, my mind, my emotions, intellect. What I put into my mind and heart is what people will see. God did not intend for me to see myself as I was viewing myself. In Genesis 1:26 It says, “Let us make man in our image….” God’s image is beautiful and that is how He wants me to view myself.

I will continue to work on this…..And believe that God knew exactly what He was doing when HE created me!

“Self esteem is just a belief. It takes as much effort to believe you have low self esteem as it does to believe you have high self esteem. All you need to do when experiencing low self esteem is to change your belief about yourself. Remember that no one can give or take away your self esteem.”

Image found on: decortoadore.net

Me!  Me!  Me!

Me! Me! Me!

Did anyone else experience Christmas being ruined because their someone ‘special’ in the family wasn’t able to control everything about Christmas? It always happens it seems. I suppose the word is narcissists. They always spoil the special family holidays. Their need for attention and control always rises to new levels.

Do they get excited about the holiday thinking they will be the center of attention? We must remember that everything has to revolve around them and in the order they give for them to be happy. As long as we follow their prescribed order everything will be just fine!
Now the time has come that the cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents all get to come together. The anxiety begins to rise because out of all the people someone is not going to like her. Her comfort level is now threatened! She can not attend or else has to direct attention elsewhere in a dramatic scene. Suddenly what should have been a wonderful time has now become a time that she has ruined again.

It is always the same title different story. Whether the marine ball, school party for the kids, office party, it all must revolve around the her and her narcissistic behavior. At all cost she must be comfortable and must be noticed.

So keep this in mind when you choose to socialize with this friend, family member, or worker. Are they really worth it? Of course there is going to be a scene! Unless you are willing to always be her crony, laugh at her jokes, think her funny gifts are the greatest, you will never be on their “like” list.

You decide to have a good Christmas yourself. Just go on and know that the narcissist defines themselves by the way they act. Everyone already knows. If not, it will not be long.

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