Are You Really a Friend?

Posted: June 23, 2012 in Things I've Learned
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I have found in my experience that an unhealthy friendship will totally mess with my own mind and my own sense of peace. That unhealthy friend has become toxic to me.  How I have chosen to determine which might be an unhealthy “friend” is…. One who is, consistently contradictory, consistently derogatory, the one who you consistently try to build up, spend many hours with yet leaves you feeling deflated. They unusually thrive on drama. Always seems to have a grudge against someone and always seem to be angry.

Friends should be… uplifting, leaving us feeling pleasant and calm. We should know they care about us and their friendship is honest. My ‘few’ true friends are healthy, positive friendships. We can be ourselves, we don’t wear any mask and we’re not out to create any drama.We laugh, cry, share coffee, burdens and pray!  We’re just friends. That’s that part I love about being friends.

This poem was shared with me by our son. His mother in law had given it to his wife many years ago after a tumultuous relationship with a friend. I love it!


If you were a ticket
What would I have to pay
For the pleasure of your presence
To buy a moment of your day

I’d like to spend some time with you
If I thought I could afford it
I’d like to give you a piece of myself
If I thought you wouldn’t hoard it

What is your price of admission…
Is it a pint of blood or a pound of flesh?
Do I still owe you from yesterday…
Or does my tab start afresh?

Have you ever not answered the phone
Because you feared who was on the other end
Have you ever avoided a person’s problem
Because you didn’t want to pretend?

Have you ever crossed the street?
To avoid an unpleasant conversation?
Have you heard the same old story
Without a hint of hesitation?

Have you ever withheld the truth
Because you couldn’t bear the consequences?
Have you ever lied on purpose
To evade the tiresome need for defenses?

I’d like to be your closest friend
But I can’t afford you today
I am emotionally exhausted
And I can’t afford to pay

Let me know if you go on sale
Make your first call to me
And if you ever want to buy my ticket
I’ll give it to you for free.

I often wonder why women seem to be the ones who mostly keep the negative friends around? Do men feel this way too? I wish for you Great Friends in Life! ~Jen

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